“My Bad.” I think I might be to blame for the flooding in Colorado. You see, I was thinking impure thoughts as of late. I feel somewhat isolated and forgotten lately, and the morose seemed to hump my leg like a dog. It would not go away until I thought some impure thoughts. Unfortunately, God decided that if I did that, He would have to isolate me further by flooding the area making little islands all over Northern Colorado. So you see it is my fault. Or so I thought. I heard of a couple wanting to get married in the mountains this weekend. Perhaps, they are to blame. Maybe they are so ill-fated and star-crossed that God thought He would wipe out the highway to prevent such an unholy union.
It would be nice to think so, but I also thought of driving back and forth to Fort Collins to mountain bike ride. That would have been a terrible waste of gas, so I am sure God needed to prevent that. Yep, “My Bad.”
Do you think that there was some guy looking at his neighbors ark saying, “Oops, sorry”? I wonder if Noah’s buddy was guiltily masturbating the day before the flood. He leaves his house, blind and hairy palmed, and squints in the rain and says, “Hmmm, hardly seems worth it.” When the water rose to ankle height, knees, even waist, how many people added in their guilt and shame as rationale for this flood? Did Noah really think that the debauch surrounding him was worthy of complete annihilation? Did he point fingers? Did he jeer? Did he say, “I told you so, Squinty”?
It will be a few days, but the rationales are coming. After Katrina, there were so called spirit leaders that said it was a result or punishment for New Orleans’ sin. There is a pseudo-church in Kansas that declares soldiers’ deaths are a result of gays in the military. There will be those who ignore the pain and suffering of people and turn to blame and judgment. To those people, blame me. It was my bad. Blame me and then pick up a shovel and a loaf of bread and get to work.