put your heart into it

07 Nov

Back to the joy and innocence idea.

I was pondering the difference between sex and making love. I think the words are thrown around and some characteristics and intrinsic value given to the concepts without any idea of definition. I think that there is a sanctimonious appreciation of making love, that it is somehow better than mere sex. It is thought to be less banal and dirty. I agree it is different, and I would rather be in a relationship making love than having sex. So, I decided to ask myself why. I embarked on trying to define what the words meant to me. Is it the difference depicted in romantic comedies vs soft core porn? Is it whether you are in the bedroom or not? Is it simply based on if you do something kinky?

I think it simply is based on the relationship. Let me explain. I think our sex lives reflect our relationship. I think that if the relationship is rigid and over controlled, then perhaps the sex will always be in the bedroom and without spontaneity.

Side story: I once saw a young girl for abdominal pain. I asked if she was sexually active and she reported she was not. I did a pregnancy test anyway and it was positive. I asked her why she said she was not sexually active. Her reply: “I am not active, I just lay there.”

Perhaps her relationship was reflected in her sex life as well. I can see a lackluster, stagnant relationship. When I hear of love lives losing the desire or zeal I think about this girl. When I hear of sex becoming a chore or a task, I think of this girl. I think this is when making love becomes sex.

Now imagine a relationship built on honesty. Imagine a love life growing from connection, fear, love, fun, growth. Imagine exploring hearts, minds, souls, and then bodies. The physical becomes an expression of the love. I think you can only make love in a relationship if you are living love. Otherwise, its sex.

1 Comment

Posted by on November 7, 2013 in journey


Tags: , , , , , ,

One response to “put your heart into it

  1. damagedbytheageof3

    November 7, 2013 at 11:48 am

    For me, making love is definitely when there is a deep emotional connection.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

The Shameful Sheep

shit storms, shame, and stories that make you cringe

What Gives?

Big ideas in a tiny body


Wandering in my wondering...

shellbegly91's Blog

A modern business theme

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A "How to Thrive" Guide After Divorce

Connecting God

Theology in Context

K E R M I T ' S space


Faith, Hope, Love, Serve | Shine Your Light

There is something inside me that has made me new and set me free

Beautiful Life with Cancer

Discovering the Gift

Globe Drifting

Global issues, travel, photography & fashion. Drifting across the globe; the world is my oyster, my oyster through a lens.

Handcuffs Hurt

Dan Madden


This blog reflects the thoughts, feelings and confusion of a christian woman going through a divorce and the thoughts post-divorce.

Chronicles of Jazzmine Bankston

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."-C.S. Lewis


A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Lydia Robbins

Hold on, let me write this down


Turning Tears & Laughter into Words

%d bloggers like this: