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shatter

25 Nov

My muscles ache.
My heart beats too hard, too fast.
My eyes are strained.
My head spins.
I hurt.

I am a child and I am growing. As I grow, my bones cry out, my muscles scream. I try to drink more water, eat better.  I try tylenol or ibuprofen. I take hot baths. Still my bones moan, my muscles strain. I dream and long to be ‘Big’, but the growth hurts. It is agonizing waiting, and it is agonizing not waiting. I am searching for who I am and how I fit in. There really isn’t a concrete answer, but it is all I will settle for. My head screams, my heart moans.
My muscles ache.
My heart beats too hard, too fast.
My eyes are strained.
My head spins.
I hurt.

I am a beloved child of Christ and I am growing. As I grow my soul cries, and my heart screams. I try and drink in Salvation, eat up Grace. Still, my soul bellows, and my heart thunders. I am searching for me and how I fit into God’s plan. There isn’t just one concrete answer, but I won’t settle for less than that. My heart moans, and my head screams. I want to draw closer and I am afraid to do so. I want to be used in the Kingdom of Heaven here on Earth, but I fear I am sitting in a whale. It is agonizing.

My tears fall and I am held.
My heart nutured.
My thoughts quieted.
I hold onto the God around me ferociously.
My heart slows, my eyes relax.
The scales fall from my eyes as I murmur, “Help me.”

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1 Comment

Posted by on November 25, 2013 in faith, journey

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

One response to “shatter

  1. Barb

    November 25, 2013 at 4:25 pm

    I see you are inspired to write again…well done

     

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