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now you see me

08 Dec

Do you see me?

Kids everywhere asking parents.

Do I see me?

Confused adults pondering.

See?

Proof.

I turned on Avatar. I love the scene where she tells him, “I see you.” I cherish the idea that someone can see who you really are and want to walk with that. I long to be seen. I am afraid of it, to be sure. I have some dark nooks and crannies that I have worked to hide. I have been diligent at opening the closets and exposing them. I run through the rooms of my memory, throwing open the doors. I drag things into the light and confront them. It has been exhausting, painful, and terrifying. I have scared away a wife, family, friends, and a career. There are a few closets that I open up, only to discover another door to open. I open that and there is a locked door inside. It is a mental video game. I have to open some other door in my brain first and find a key.

I have to see me before other can really see me. In the movie, they can just connect there hair plug into some animal and become one. I have tried that, but it doesn’t go over very well. I would not suggest trying.

I have talked to many people. I have discovered that most have a desire, whether they admit it or not, to be seen. That longing to have someone you love look into your heart and simply approve of the whole of you. But also, I think we want to see someone like that. We want to sit with someone and look into their heart and soul. To explore the recesses of their mind without fear or judgement.

See?

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Posted by on December 8, 2013 in divorce, life

 

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