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quickstep

12 Sep

Its been a long week.
Its only been a week?
It seems like its been forever and its flown by.

The week was an obstacle. It stood before me like a huge wall. I had to get over it. Not because of what was on the other side, or even because this side was so bad, but because, I had to get over this wall. I stood at the foot of it and looked up at it, I gazed at the bricks. I felt the rough and cold exterior. I saw no way over it, around it or under it. There was no life to it. No vines, no ants crawling on it. It was rigid, cold, ever present. It loomed without intending to loom. It darkened. It intimidated. IT felt like it would draw you in and consume you, if it consumed.

The first day was horses. Commune with the horses. “I am not into animals, necessarily.” “I am a little afraid of horses.” Go and see how it goes, the wall bellowed. The wall loomed, the wall darkened. I panicked. I couldn’t stay with the horses. I was embarrassed, I was humiliated. The wall stood.

A year of faces. A year of digging. A year of explore. All in a week. Pulling, teasing, testing. Viewing, watching the movie of your life, trying to keep the characters straight. Holding on to the paddles of a kayak in eel infested waters. It was a long week that flew by.

Romeo tells Tin Cup to put his change in the other pocket, turn his hat around, and untie his shoe. I carried a satchel, a stuffed dog, and talked about how I felt. “Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou?”

Looking into the darkness, straining eyes. Trying to hear the origin of voices, long since spoken. The lights suddenly flipped. The searing flash of pain. The memory of the pain lingers and withers. The eyes see, the ears hear, and the heart steadies. The soul knows it is the beginning, not the end.

I lean against the wall, the coolness comforts me in the heat. I clamor for its shade. I trust in its strength. The wall stands.

 
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