Its the beginning and the end. Its the Genesis and Revelation. It is the conclusion and orientation.
This is not what I started to write about. I was going to contrast the two church services I went to this week. my fingers seem to have something to say and so I will just let them go . I hope its good.
I have been hitting the reset button for a few years now. In reality I started about 8 years ago. I put down my beer and picked up a new life. It was painful. It was strange and new. There is a scene in Narnia. One of the boys has developed scales all over his body. He meets with Aslan and wants to be freed from his affliction. He is sent to the lake. I imagine he is hoping the water will free him like a baptism. Aslan takes a claw and swipes at the boy. Some of the scales fall. He is in pain and bleeding and Aslan swipes again. And then again. The scales fall away and the boy is freed. He must heal and be clean. The boy is in pain and has to start again. It is the end of the pain of hiding in the scales, dark and hidden. It is the beginning of something new.
8 years ago, Aslan took his swipe. The scales of the bottle fell to the side. I was bloodied and in pain. I wasn’t done. I began to heal. I thought I was clean. 2 years ago, the darkness crept into my life again. I had hidden it behind the healed wounds. I didn’t see it, but I had not let Aslan finish the job with the first swipe. The recognition of my wounds, my scales hurt again. This time I knew I wasn’t done. I had the pain again when friends and family turned away from my bloodied and cold , naked body. I was not done and Aslan swiped again, stripping the trappings of life, my false idols. I was freed from me. Many had left, I had surrendered my career, my business, my life and stood ready to grow and be. I prayed the only honest prayer I know, “Help me.” He did.
I paused frequently. I let myself be lead into strange and unusual situations and careers. I felt the calmness and warmth of the lake. I knew Aslan was with me. When I surrendered for the third time and decided to finally let my career choice go by the wayside, He gave it back. It is a new beginning. It is the end and the beginning.