“Help, I need somebody.” I heard this song this morning. I love this song.
“When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody’s help in any way
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors”
Really? Who does this? It seems maybe I am all messed up here. It is dramatically easier for me to ask for help as a kid. Particularly as a young kid, I never shied from the idea that I could ask for help. As I aged to a teenager, I fell victim to the idea that asking for help meant you weren’t strong. It meant you were weak. As an older teen and into my 20’s, if I couldn’t do something without help it “wasn’t worth doing.” It got worse as I got older.
I didn’t need counseling.
I didn’t need to ask for help in my career, my marriage, my parenting.
I told the world and God, “I got this.”
Truth is… I didn’t ‘got this.’
I was told, “Big boys don’t cry.”, “Pick yourself up by your bootstraps (what does that even mean?”, “Man up.” I believed it. When I couldn’t do it, I faked it. I didn’t want to be seen as weak anymore.
and then….I crumbled.
I asked for help, like Peter as he sunk to his knees in the crashing waves. And it was there immediately.
The strongest I have ever been is when I ask for help. But not to get a hand out, but a leg up.
The best I have been is when I offer it to someone else.