As I say it, I can actually feel it. That icy feeling that hits right behind the eyes. The sudden thought that perhaps snorting tobasco sauce would be a pleasurable experience. That thought followed by the fear that perhaps this feeling will never go away. The delusion that your brain will be forever frozen in a block of ice, like Encino Man. In a 1000 years, some teenager with an inferiority complex will thaw out your head in a shed in order to impress girls.
It has been very cold this winter. This morning it was zero degrees. I decided that I would not get up until the weather had a positive attitude. It then skyrocketed to one degree and I sprinted to the shower to get ready for work. I have been asked some very odd questions and seen seemingly normal people do so bizarre things in the last few weeks. I think their brain is frozen. The weather and the prolonged darkness that happens up here near Canada has dealt their psyche a “life slurpee”. The environment and mother nature has slipped them a Slurpee mickey. Its as if, in the normal course of life, there was some sneakiness afoot. As they drank hot chocolate with marshmallows, Mother Nature wrapped a blanket around their shoulders as she dropped a Slurpee pill into the beverage.
As I hustle to various indoor settings, I glance at people. The heads tilted to the side, necks buckling under the weight of the ice block around their brain. I wonder if they are even aware of the desire to thaw out. Is the brain so frozen that the thought of being sluggish and paralyzed intellectually not recognized? Is the fact that the icy interior makes movement stiff beyond them? Do they see that the words are sluggish, the demeanor chilly? Do they feel the frozen thoughts like blue toes after skiing? Do they understand that with ice on the brain, and frigid thought running in their brain that they shouldnt be operating machinery? Perhaps the reason that there are so many wrecks in the winter storms is that someone has life slurpee all over the place.