I think my house is being bit. I understand it sounds delusional, but I am looking out my windows and there are these long pointed teeth everywhere. When I open the door, I can feel the icy breath curling around my bare ankles. It nibbles at exposed skin. Perhaps the mouth biting my house is an alien life form and there is little nibbling heads within that like flesh better than dwellings. I cant be certain because I close the door quickly.
On a particularly adventurous and brave day, I went out and knocked out some of the teeth. I figured that perhaps it would save my house if I forced the frigid being to gum my house instead of chew. I strutted around in the 30 degree weather, thinking I had bested the wintery beast. I treated myself to popcorn and apple cider. I had won. I had outwitted the monster.
I awoke the next day to 4 degree weather. The teeth had returned. I think they were bigger than before. I was dejected. I soothed my troubled and cold self with popcorn and apple cider. The wind is blowing and the sounds of chewing plop from the trees. The nibblers sneak in the drafty spots. I shovel off the frozen saliva from the porch and driveway. It is stacked everywhere. The frozen froth fills my yard and the street. The beast is hungry.